Thank Jesus I Am Not A Teen Mom

10 Jul

Now I count my blessings DAILY for not birthing a child at the mere age of 16 BUT Maci from Teen Mom on MTV is one 16 year old slut that i will back up. First off she got to hook up with, “Ryyyynnnnn” who from time to time can resemble Chris Angel BUT still has a kicking bod. His vocabulary is that of a Preschooler, and his parenting skills are not always top notch but hes still one hot piece of ass so I can see why Maci let him swipe her V card. Bentley (ugliest name I’ve ever heard) makes my uterus tickle due to his extreme cuteness, and his rare Southern swag. I was never really a fan of Ryan because he treats Maci like shit and feels as though he can do whatever the hell he wants BUT looking at the demon that Maci is dating these days (Kyle) Ryan is looking better and better. Kyle speaks as though he has had a stroke yet seems to love Bentley and treat Maci right go I guess i’ll let it go.

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Is it weird that I think Kyle looks just like Sloth from the Goonies? They have the same vocabulary and the resemblance is uncanny. The one exception is that Sloth has teeth and Kyle doesn’t. Maybe Maci can be his sugar mama and buy him a lil something, something. If not i’m sure he could sell one of his 15 cars and afford at least a couple of molars for chewing? I bet Mac & Cheese gets boring sliding down your throat day after day….yet somehow I highly doubt that.

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One Response to “Thank Jesus I Am Not A Teen Mom”

  1. Lucy July 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm #

    Bridie, I continue to question your taste in men.

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