Twenty one pound lobster caught off the coast of cape cod? Where do I sign up? I love lobster more than life itself, so when I read this article on Boston.com I nearly peed my pants. I could eat lobster, all day every day, and i’m very serious with that statement. I get extremely angry and tend to yell at people when people say they don’t enjoy lobster because I don’t quite understand how. I remember being a server in the summers and tourists from the Midwest would ask what it tasted like. I would be confused as to how they could have never tasted lobster and tell them to order it or die. Being from New England lobster is as common as chicken, and sluts that don’t like it don’t have souls. Being in Maine for the summer I have already had lobster a few times and can’t seem to get enough. This 21 pound bad boy has claws that are a foot long each, causing it to dominate the sea floor I can imagine. The largest lobster caught on record what a 44 pounder off the coast of Nova Scotia. (fucking Canadians) Apparently the bitch that caught this red, hot, skank is raffling it off for charity. Facebookers have been saying that this lobster could be as old as 147, making it one old geezer. So I say we show up and win the mother fucker. Worst comes to worst we steal it and run off. I wouldn’t mind feasting on some 21 pound lobstaahhh and I know the rest of you true New Englander’s wouldn’t either. Dibs on the tail bitches.