Making Me Horny…Mustache Mondays (on Tuesday)

24 Jul

So I’ve been a bit behind on my blogging. I think this is due to my addiction to alcohol and my constant need to go out and party, BUT i’m back in action so shut up. So on this slutty Monday Tuesday who is making me horny???

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ALBERT EINSTEIN! This skanky German is famous for many things, my two favorite being….that he married his first cousin AND he dropped out of high school. I hate everything about math and science so i’m guessing that Einstein and I would NOT have hit it off. His hair does look similar to mine, and our tongues are probably the same length but besides that we don’t have much in common. Einstein was a dude that was known to rock a mean stache though, so he deserves a little praise for that. After researching this foul fella I found some interesting facts about this mustached freak’s life. One being that he was a “ladies man.” (and by ladies man.. I mean one sick fuck) He considered marrying his own daughter (Elsa) after divorcing his first cousin….hm…that sounds normal? If he were from Tennessee or Alabama I wouldn’t question this idea, BUT he was German, and I wasn’t aware that was allowed in Germany?? Looking at his picture i’m 99% sure that he stunk, and by stunk.. i mean was offensive to stand near. Everyone knows that he probably didn’t shower daily, and clearly had bad breath. If I was given the option to make out with him I think i’d pass, even though swapping saliva with this genius probably would make me a little bit smarter… I’d still rather die. So here you go, you horny bastard, i’ll blog about you…you sick son of a bitch.

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