I’m Back In Action BITCHES

11 Apr

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I’M BACCCCCCCCCK…. After 8 MONTHS, I am trimming my pink mustache again. My lack of blogging was due to a new job and an adult life..and i’m sorry. So in the past people have asked if they could guest blog and I think it’s a great idea. It will allow everyone to be in the spotlight and get their thoughts out there. SO LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MOON LIGHTING FOR MY BLOG. The only rule is that you have to be funny and you can’t suck…also I’ve found that if you blog with just a bra on it makes you feel more comfortable, but that’s up to you. If you can manage that then the floor is yours.

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So for work I had to travel to CHI TOWN DOWN. I was only there for two nights and was working most days so I didn’t get to explore the city as much as I wanted. I did find it to be kinda like Boston but a little shittier. Boston wins..hands down, i’m sorry. BUT Chicago does have an awesome foodie scene. We went to dinner at The Purple Pig which was awesome. It was tapas with a twist and really tickled my fancy. For our fancy smancy work dinner we went to Mastros, where I devoured half a cow..while pouring Gorgonzola mac and cheese all over my face screaming THIS IS AWESOME. That was kind of the highlight of my trip. Our trek back to the bean was horrible. WE waited at the AIRPORT FOR EIGHT HOURS. yes..8 hours. I’m not kidding I thought I was going to die. Since the weather was thunder and lightening EVERYTHING was delayed. I witnessed an Asian man puke in front of 300 people in a waste basket. I tried to record it but it was done by the time i got my iPhone going. I think seeing security escort him to the bathroom was the best part. ONE AWESOME THING THAT I DID GET TO SEE AT THE AIRPORT WAS ALLIE FEDOTOWSKY (Bachelorette star who is now a nobody) She was with her hipster boyfriend who looked like Brad from Brad Brad World (Bravo or die). I loved seeing her so much because she looked like shit. Her blonde hair was tied up in a stringing pony tail and she was trying to stand in the corner to hide her bacon greased hair from the world BUT NOPE I saw her..I caught that bitch in the raw. I tried to snap a pic but only got 50 shots of the back of her head which was making me sick to look at because of the greasy slime dripping off. She caught on to what I was doing and ran toward the gate. I guess her bachelorette career turned into nothing, I mean taking a commercial American flight to Californian must have been depressing for her. The one positive thing about her was her Tory Birch boots. They were kickin’. I almost bought the same pair but opted out mid November due to the reality that they were $395 and not needed. I wanted to go up to her and simply say, “Allie I’ll wash your hair if need be..and I won’t even charge you.”

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    It feels good to be back bitches.

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